August 19th, 2014
Finally got my smiley face on the ovulation test!! Two days later than predicted but I was just so happy to see it! Although my elation (and tears and bouncing up and down on the spot) were halted by people on a conception/birth/baby forum when they told me that that doesn’t mean I’m ovulating; it just means that the test picked up on the LH surge.
I mean, yes, realism is great but for someone that got (possibly wrongly) told “you don’t ovulate, you won’t have children” last year, that smiley face meant the world to me.
August 21st, 2014.
Blood test is still tomorrow so we shall see, I suppose.
My BBT rose quite sharply this morning, as well as having rise the day before so fingers crossed that things are happening as they should be.
Symptoms Today: lower backache, fatigue, nausea, headache, bloating
Song of the Day: Civil Twilight “Letters from the Sky”
Ah!! Bigby and Snow
Bigby and Snow (and Colin)!
Monday August 11th:-
Today I finally got my results from my first lot of blood tests!
HbA1c – 56 mmol (satisfactory to my doctor although I’d like it to be lower, personally)
Fasting Glucose – 5.6 mmol (perfect!)
Liver Function – borderline (needs repeating in 2 months)
Hormone Profile – NORMAL!!!
The hormone profile was the one that I was waiting (impatiently) for and I’m absolutely thrilled that it came back normal. Now I just need to get through cervical screening exam (ugh) and the Day 21 blood test and I’ll be fine. I hope. I pray. Anything is possible.
Monday night was the Love Circle and boy was that a powerful and unexpected night!!
We raised a hell of a lot of energy and I was lucky enough to receive some wonderful healing and love energy; along with a slightly disturbing revelation as to a past life incident that I need to come to terms with and move on from. After the circle was finished we ended up ordering pizzas and just sitting and chatting; relaxing. It honestly was one of the best ways to spend a Monday evening.
Tuesday August 12th:
And the decorating begins in earnest! We started with the bathroom as it’s the smallest room in our apartment and relatively easy to paint. I did not realize how much a slightly off-white color would open up our little bathroom – it’s so much brighter now! I can’t wait to get our new towels and all the accessories that will just complete it. I think we’re going to get some tester pots of a really pretty sea-blue color called “Neptune” and paint the inside of the window and the little ledge that sits just above the floor behind the toilet just so that the room isn’t too starkly white. I’m oddly excited about it.
For some reason, despite being completely exhausted neither of us fell asleep until about 5am. I’m kinda hoping that doesn’t happen again as I need sleep!!
Wednesday August 13th:
Today we made a start on the living room. Bigby picked out this lovely pale green for one wall (we’re saying that it looks like the color of pistachio ice-cream) and the others are going to be the same off-white as the bathroom.
So the green went up today, both coats because we are just that awesome. And it looks lovely! I’m really happy with it and I am so impatient to get all the other bits and pieces –throws, cushions…all the little touches.
We settled in with a quick dinner (salad for me, noodles for Bigby) and a cheeky treat of ice cream.
Tomorrow I think we’re going to head out for a little bit – give ourselves a break from painting for the day.
Until next time,
August 9th and 10th, 2014 (Cycle Days 7 & 8)
I should’ve written over the weekend, but by the time Sunday evening rolled around I was exhausted.
Saturday was kind of a lazy day because honestly, we were both so tired and all we wanted to do was curl up on the sofa and have an X-Files day. Bigby made us chicken fajitas for dinner (his specialty and, as it happens, the first dinner he ever made me) and that was us done for the evening.
Sunday had us popping out to the store for a few much needed items – ice cream and chocolate because as of Tuesday we won’t be eating that kind of thing anymore and I wanted to pick up some of the Clear Blue Digital Ovulation test kits as I’m due my ovulation window pretty soon and although I’ve got a blood test August 22nd to see if I do actually ovulate I’d be so happy to get a little smiley face on the test stick. I swear I’d take a photo of it and keep it forever!!
Bigby made us a very tasty roast chicken dinner, while I finally broke through my artists block and created a new digital art piece. It’s taken me months to come up with something new, I guess I was inspired!
But Sunday evening, ah…that was the best. The full moon – the super moon – was out and we had a wonderful view of it from the park near us. So, being that the full moon is a great time to do any kind of spellwork or ritual involving fertility, Bigby and I decided to go to the park with some Jasmine incense, tea light candles, food offerings and a fertility symbol. We dedicated the ritual to the goddess of protection and motherhood that we always call upon and left the offerings out for any wildlife to eat (making sure that we’d left things that were safe for animals!) and then after we were done we just took a walk around the park and came back home.
And we definitely did not celebrate by eating some ice cream…nope, nope,nope. Not at all.
Pictures of our little ritual are below, under the “read more”.
Well, since I posted a photo of all the things I’m going to be taking I figured I may as well write down what doses and when I’m taking them.
Plus having it here saves me having to forage for pieces of paper to write things down on!
And that’s it! I am staggering these at the moment as I don’t want to just shove a bunch of new things into my system. I think the slow approach is probably best.
I think it’s safe to say I’ll be rattling when I walk *giggles*.
August 7th, 2014 (Cycle Day 5)
Today has been a good day.
Bigby and I went out shopping for decorating supplies - we’ve been in our apartment for a fairly long time and we finally got around to picking paint colors for the bathroom, living room and bedroom; as well as new bedding.
The living room has been dictated by our ridiculously large dark brown leather sofas, so I’ve gone for earthy colors - dark browns, creams and greens. Most of the walls will be painted in a shade that is just off-white, with one wall being painted in a really lovely pale green. I think it’ll look beautiful once we have throws, cushions, curtains and accents in.
The bedroom is going to be purple. Same idea as the living room with a feature wall in a nice deep (but not hugely dark) purple with purple bedding and curtains and really nice dark pink accents. I’ve found furniture as well that will look incredible and I’m just so excited to get started.
I did promise Bigby that we would have the weekend to rest as we have our Circle on Monday evening and Tuesday we shall spend cleaning the apartment in preparation for the painting.
I think I’m slightly too excited about this.
I also managed to find the rest of the supplements I wanted to be taking, for a lot less money than I was expecting too! Gotta love Holland & Barrett for their penny sales!
So now I have a rather large amount of vitamins and supplements to take, all of which I’ve read are good for both fertility, trying to conceive and pregnancy. Incidentally, I found the information for all of these HERE.
So this is my “little” collection:
Alpha Lipoic Acid, Bee Propolis, L-Arginine, Vitamin C, Vitamin B Complex, Vitamin B6, Zinc, Omega-3 Fish Oil, Evening Primrose Oil and Royal Jelly.
The page I’ve linked to has all the information as to why each is good and beneficial, as well as instructions for how and when to take each one. There are some on the list that I’ve not included - iron for example as my body doesn’t tolerate iron supplements all that well and selenium because I couldn’t find any that didn’t have extra vitamin A, C and E included. I’m getting CoQ10 later, although I’ve heard conflicting information about it’s use during pregnancy so I’ll have to do some more research first.
I think that’s about it for today, it’s just been one of those nice days where all good things happened. Now I’m going to curl up with a cup of tea, Bigby and some movies on Netflix.
So I need to lose weight. But I have a very bad problem with snacking so I thought I’d make a quick guide for myself and Bigby (and anyone else out there having the same problem!)
August 3rd, 4th, 5th and 6th, 2014.
I’m not sure where to start with all of of this so I may just ramble for a while.
In the middle of 2012 my husband (who I call Bigby) and I made the huge decision to try for a baby. It was a shock to us both as neither of us had felt that children would be on the agenda for us and then all of a sudden we both just turned to each other and it was a moment of “oh, so that’s happening”.
There was a LOT to do, so much to prepare. With me being diabetic, I had to make sure that my diabetes was well controlled (and that I could find an insulin I could tolerate without needing a hospital admission from an allergic reaction!) and that I was slowly and safely coming off of some medications that weren’t safe to be taking while trying to conceive and during pregnancy.
I stopped my Pill, I started taking Folic Acid and I got my HbA1c down to 44; which was a huge shock to the diabetic team I was under the care of! It was a fair shock to me as well, if I’m honest but I was so proud of myself for working my butt off - but then I did have a good incentive to work for.
Then the trying began and with it came the waiting, the hoping and, unfortunately the heartbreak. In the Summer of 2013, after being referred to a gynecologist consultant at the hospital for heavy, painful bleeding (for 12 weeks, seriously scary stuff) we were told that I didn’t ovulate and because of that I would never have children.
Heartbreak doesn’t quite cover how I felt in that moment. I blamed myself, I hated myself for a long time because I felt that as a woman I couldn’t do the one thing that I was meant to be able to do.
Slowly, we started to come to terms with the situation and as sad as I was, we began to move on.
In July of this year (2014) we met up with a group of friends and over the course of the evening, one of our friends F said to me “you’re a mother” just like that out of nowhere. It was coming up for a year since I’d been told I couldn’t have children so this question took me by surprise and then made me burst into tears.
The group, now our Love Circle and the nicest group of people in the world, talked to us both about the diagnosis I’d had and the amount of support and kindness they showed us was just wonderful. M and S(1) told me that they had friends who had been told similar things who then went on to have children and that I shouldn’t take the word of a consultant who hadn’t actually run any proper tests to back up his diagnosis.
With that in mind, Bigby and I spoke about everything over a few days and then decided that it wouldn’t do any harm to speak to our doctor and get a second opinion. Boy am I glad we did!
The doctor we saw was lovely, very understanding and at a complete loss as to how my diagnosis was made without any blood tests to back it up. So she took me off of the Pill (as I’d ended up going back on it) and prescribed me Folic Acid along with a CD3 and CD21 blood test. The CD3 blood test is a full hormone profile and the CD21 blood test is the big one - the one that tells us if I do actually ovulate.
If I do then I will be having words with the hospital, I think. If I don’t then the doctor told me that there are things to help with that and that she will “make me ovulate”, which sounded quite assertive. All in all, I was relieved that someone was happy and willing to help and left the appointment feeling positive.
That was July 17th, 2014 and since then I’ve been looking up ways to help boost my own fertility (and Bigbys’ too because, well, it can’t hurt!) and looking which supplements and vitamins are good to take. I now own a small pharmacy of said supplements and vitamins and I think that by the end of all of this I will be rattling when I walk!
I thought that I would be waiting for a very long time to get any kind of cycle back, so imagine my surprise when it started August 3rd, 2014.
So, yesterday morning I had the CD3 blood test (along with an update HbA1c) and hopefully the results will be back by the end of the week. I’ve also bought myself a digital thermometer so I can track my BBT which will help me figure out ovulation timings and I plan on buying some ovulation tests as well; as according to my apps (they really do have an app for everything now!), I should ovulate some time next week and I’d be interested to see if anything shows up.
So anyway, that’s my story so far. This journal is going to be a record of the journey that Bigby and I are on - a frank and somewhat detailed account of pre-conception, conception; pregnancy, birth and parenthood. There may be rants (that’s actually highly likely), there may be occasions of far too much information and this journal may also be peppered with crafts, baking and random photography.
Rutilated Quartz - to help with unexplained infertility
Carnelian - influences female reproductive organs and increases fertility
Chrysoprase - enhances fertility, reverses infertility caused by infection
Moldavite - used as a talisman for good fortune and fertility
Moonstone - excellent for PMS, conception, pregnancy, childbirth and breast-feeding
Cinnabar - enhances fertility
Jade - assists fertility and childbirth
Rose Quartz - said to increase fertility
Thulite - enhances fertility
Rhodonite - stimulates fertility
Zoisite - stimulates fertility and heals disease of the ovaries and testicles
Tektite - worn as a fertility talisman
Tugtupite - increases fertility
SYMBOLS & COLORS:
Frogs - depictions of squatting frogs are used to represent giving birth to new life and the frog is also linked to Aphrodite, the Goddess of love and procreation
Cats - used by Ancient Egyptians as a fertility symbol (possibly because of how many kittens they can have from one pregnancy?)
Elephants - in China, elephants are seen as a symbol of fertility with a pair kept either side of the bed facing the center of the room
Fish - seen as a fertility symbol in China
Rabbit - associated with fertility magic and sexual energies
Turtles - for much the same reason as cats as well as being a protective symbol due to their hard shell
The Color Green - transformation, new beginnings, fertility, luck, change
The Color Orange - the color of the Sacral chakra which is associated with fertility
Goddess symbols - personally I like the goddess symbol with the spiral on her belly; although the Venus of Willendorf is quite popular as well
Water & Water Symbols
SCENTS & INCENSE:
Jasmine - balances the Sacral Chakra
Sandalwood - balances the Sacral Chakra
Melissa (Lemon Balm)
You could also use a pre-made incense for fertility or one that corresponds to the Sacral Chakra